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About me and the site | Twenty-something male who likes text. Obsessed with things such as books, reality, communication, and one or two tv-shows.

Archives | Things written here since... well, 2001. Some of it is good, some is utter shait.

Books | Books read, not books written. So far I've struggled to maintain unpublished.

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e-mail | J. Nicklas Andersson

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2001-08-30

So, it’s all over tha place. The Boo.com movie (I found it on plasticbag), like those two goons need more egosboosting. One whould have thought that a fissle like this would have inflated their baloon, but oh no. They’ll be back, as always. Only now they might have a minor problem in getting people to shower them with cash — but I think I said that the last time, when they where bought up and thrown out from the Internetbased bookshop they founded.

[Int. Tech-trenches]
Managment: Why isn’t it finished? We should have launched last month!
Techie: Well, you see. You know the illustrator? He who was hired to fix illustrations and icons to everything?
Managment: Yes. So?
Techie: He’s sort of unavailable right now.
Managment: Find him then!
Techie: Nonono, we know where he is. He had this sort of nerveous breakdown because of the timeconstraints and the huge workload. And he’s commited to this hospital.
Managment: Damn! And with these expences we have, we just can’t afford to hire another artist.
[Int. a really expensive hotel bar on a tropical island]
The Insane Two Goons M & L: CHAMPAGNE CONGA LINE!!!
[FADE TO BLACK]

I had to do a transcript, I just had too. When I don’t watch movies or listen to music, this is what comes out of my speakers.

-- Okey, give me a number seven lock pick.
-- Right here.
-- I’m gonna grab that million bucks out of the insurance company on the forty-fourth floor and be gone.
-- Won’t the guard hear you picking up the lock at the door?
-- He’s not there. His bladder is as regular as a clockwork. See, there’s no one at the window. Just like I planned it.
-- Oh, you got the door!
-- Yeah, just as I planned it. Wait, the other guard passes about now. [fotsteps] Just as I planned it. Okay, now we go. Follow me! The elevator should be arriving about... Ah-ha. [bling]
-- Just like you planned it?
-- Yeah, now get in. Get in! Push the forty-fourth floor.
-- Right.
-- It’s an express elevator, so we should be up right... about... now.
-- Just like you planned it?
-- All right, hold back.
-- Hold back?
-- Stay back, there’s a tv-camera at the end of the hall.
-- Ahh! What would we do?
-- Nothing. Because I figure a meteor is gonna come crashing down from outer space — through that wall — and crush the camera.
[a whistling noise followed by a crash]
-- Ah, just like you planned it.
-- Yeah, that’s organisation for you.
[a tapping sound]
-- Oh-oh. Look out there on the window — a priest!
-- And a pigeon too. I’ve got a gun.
-- Waste them.
[the sound of a gun, followed by a falling body that hits the ground]
-- That was that.
-- That was a surprise.
-- No, just as I planned it. That’s why I brought the gun.
-- Now the safe.
-- Right, to blow this safe wide open we need the dynamite.
-- You didn’t say nothing about dynamite!
-- Don’t worry, give me the five dollar bill from the bag...
[a knocking and a door that opens]
-- Hi, I’m J.J. Cannaire. Would you like to buy this dynamite for only five dollar?
-- Just as I planned it.
-- “As I Planned It”-transcript from Frantic Times, show 59